Ten coolest videogame bosses

The boss is a staple of gaming, and is usually a bigger, stronger, more dangerous version of the challenges you’ve faced up until then. You can discuss which boss is the hardest, which is the best looking, etc, but I’m not interested in that. What I want to know is which one is the coolest?

That’s a tough call to make because cool isn’t easily defined. At the very least it involves the atmosphere that boss creates, their attacks, the methods you need to use to beat them, and the dramatics with which they give up the ghost. Sometimes it’s as simple as being just the right creature at just the right time, or doing something that feels genuinely new. Regardless, these are my nominations for the top ten. In no particular order…

Psycho Mantis (Metal Gear Solid)

The Metal Gear series is well known for having some spectacular boss fights – Rex and Ray spring to mind – but Psycho Mantis was a rare combination of unusual, creepy and unpredictable and the player had to use unique and clever tactics to defeat him. Psycho Mantis was a master of mind control, able to read thoughts, control people, levitate and throw objects around the room. The problem with trying to frag somebody who can read your mind is that they always known what you’re about to do and can dodge accordingly, so you’ll be going around in circles for some time unless you can find a weakness.

This is where Mantis ramped up the cool factor – when you first met him he sneakily read the memory cards on your console and used this to psychoanalyse you based on how you’ve played other games. He also proved his psychokinetic ability by asking you to put your controller on the floor and then making it shake with a series of dramatic gestures. This used the built-in vibration motors and so was far from mystical, but was still a very cool way to break the fourth wall. All of this provided the clue that would lead to his downfall – in order to work out what you were doing he was reading the controller input, so by switching your controller to the other port you could hide your intentions and beat him easily. There’s nothing like beating a boss by turning their strengths against them, especially one as skin-crawlingly creepy as Mantis.

Blast Pit Tentacle Monster (Half Life)

The scene in which you met this faceless monstrosity was one of the most tense and demanding in Half Life. Upon entering the missile blast chamber you’d be confronted by three huge claw tipped tentacles growing from the pit on the floor and swaying like giant menacing cobras. You realised very quickly that they may not be able to see you but they could detect vibrations, and the slightest noise would result in all three claws hammering down around you, leaving the chamber echoing with metallic scratches and clangs.

The trick was to walk very slowly and to distract the tentacles by throwing grenades to the other side of the chamber – the explosion would set them hunting, buying you a few seconds to dive for the next bit of cover. The only way to beat them was to work your way up to the control room and test fire the engines in the chamber, incinerating the beastie from above. What made this boss particularly cool was the way it moved, leaving you uncertain over whether or not it was on to you. Couple that with the sheer size of the thing, and you had a very nerve wracking experience.

Mothership (R-Type)

R-Type was a classic sideways scrolling shooter, and gave us an interesting toy to play with in the form of the Force. This wasn’t related to muppets shining posh torches at each other and doing backflips, but was a floating cannon/shield that could be attached to either end of your ship and fired away at will. You could use the positioning to protect your ship from incoming shots, or could attempt to lodge the Force in places where it would do the most damage without you getting into the line of fire. This was particularly useful on level three, where the entire level was a boss.

After a brief float through some rocky chambers, you’d see the front of the ship emerge on to the screen, bristling with cannons. What followed was a slow anticlockwise journey around the thing, all four or so screens of it, taking out the defences as you went. This required some skilful Force juggling as you rounded the stern of the ship and left yourself prone to the rear guns, and a final surge over the top would leave you placed to blast the ship’s only weak point.

This was the first time I remembered a boss taking over an entire level, and the challenge seemed huge. It doesn’t seem too dramatic now, but back then it was unique.

Cyberdemon (Doom series)

Back in the early 90s, Doom was the PC game to play. It had everything – fast FPS action (including multiplayer), lots of guns, piles of gibs and a series of complex and challenging levels. It also had hordes of enemies, some of which were quite dramatic, but the mantle of Chief Bad-Ass went to the final boss – the Cyberdemon. This rocket-lobbing beastie was twice as tall as you and made a menacing first impression as he lumbered through the room towards you. He took some stomping too, and would drain your supply of ammo without flinching.

The Cyberdemon was one of those bosses that people talked about after meeting, and almost became a figure of gaming urban legend. He was so cool that they brought him back in later games, culminating in his most impressive form (and ultimate demise) in Doom 3. Regardless of which incarnation we’re talking about, you just knew that the Cyberdemon would always be ready to hand you your backside on a plate.

Alastor (Painkiller: Battle Out Of Hell)

Alastor was Painkiller’s own Cyberdemon, similarly impressive in stature and very protective of his territory. You were cast into a wrecked and burning gothic city and within seconds Alastor would rock up to find out who was trespassing on his turf. Just before finding yourself in this position, Painkiller played that old psychological mind-game of taking you through a suspiciously empty series of pathways lined with every shiny weapon known to man, and all free for the taking. In FPS terms this is like somebody trying to tell you to enjoy your good fortune while it lasts because that won’t be for long..

This was one of those impressive boss fights where the first few seconds left you thinking ‘how the hell am I ever going to beat this thing?..’. As it happens Alastor wasn’t that tough to nail, requiring you to keep on your toes and run between key energy points on the floor, but that’s irrelevant really because the impression had already been made. Alastor looked like a knight from hell, was built like a skyscraper and had a fine line in king-size stomp attacks and that’s all you need to know.

Hive Mind (Dead Space)

After the ordeal of fighting through the Ishimura and taking on all manner of horrific, unearthly meanies, the Hive Mind wasn’t actually that hard to beat, but then this isn’t about difficulty – it’s about coolness. You’d previously come across extensions of the Hive Mind in the form of tentacles that’d lash out from the ventilation system and attempt drag you through the corridors to a gory and no doubt painful end, and so seeing the full thing in all its glory was not only awe-inspiring but left you determined to hand out some payback.

Part of what makes the Hive Mind cool is that it was responsible for the death of the character Kendra Daniels, who’d lied to you throughout the story, double-crossed you more than once and left you for dead. By the time she revealed the horror of your fiancee’s death to you before sneering and walking away you’d decided that you were going to take her out at the first opportunity, but before you get the chance the Hive Mind beats you to it. That would normally be annoying, but on seeing the consequences it’s pretty clear that it did a far better (and more dramatic) job than you could have done, so all is well.

Even though you can take this boss out with relatively little effort, the experience of being lashed through the air by your feet, taking potshots at the Hive Mind’s weak spots whilst struggling with upside down controls provides a fitting end to a brilliant game.

GlaDOS (Portal)

GlaDOS is a strange choice of boss because you don’t really fight her in the traditional sense, but in the coolness stakes she’s so far ahead that you’d need an extension on your portal gun to reach her.

Science Fiction has a history of creating killer computers, but they’re always cold and functional. Valve invested GlaDOS with such an amazing personality, flawless comedy timing and a killer range of insults and one liners that you found yourself deferring her demise just so you could enjoy them for longer. It’s hard to concentrate on making the tricky jumps and transfers needed to finish the game when you have a deranged supercomputer criticising everything you do in the manner of your worst playground nightmare, but as she lied about the cake it’s your duty to try.

The final stroke of genius happens after the game has finished and the research facility has exploded into little tiny pieces. The voice of GlaDOS returns to sing the end theme ‘Still Alive’, a brilliant little track penned by Jonathan Coulton and one that you’ll be singing to yourself for days afterwards. GlaDOS – the boss that just keeps on giving!

Linda, The hideous hulking lungfish of Lake Oblongata (Psychonauts)

This is an odd one because it’s a boss that isn’t really a boss, from the best game you’ve never played. Linda is the evil monster behind scores of scare stories circulated among local children warning of the terrors of Lake Oblongata. At some point you realise you’re going have to enter the lake for yourself, and you psyche yourself up for a boss battle with a terrible killer fish.. only it doesn’t quite work out that way.

Linda is a gigantic lungfish whose mind has been taken over by agents of evil and who can’t help her actions, so the only answer is for you to enter her subconscious and fight the villains from the inside. Inside Linda’s mind you discover the city of Lungfishopolis, complete with lots of little lungfish residents, a cheery local police officer and a group of hopeless revolutionaries. Unfortunately you appear to them as the ten story high monster Gargalorr, giving you the ability to stomp entire buildings King Kong style, which means you’ve got a bit of peacemaking to do.

The real surprise is that you do actually have to fight a boss while you’re in there, a boss within a boss if you will. The evil Kochamara is a strange looking creature reminiscent of a cross between a Pac Man ghost and a Mexican wrestler, who runs a mind control tower from the far end of Lungfishopolis and keeps all of the inhabitants (and therefore Linda) enslaved. He’s quite tough, although he does announce his attacks before making them in true manga style – unfortunately he’s not very imaginative with his names, so calls out ‘Overrrrrly Intricaaaaate.. COMBINATION ATTACK!’ and ‘Hard-To-Avooooooid... AREA ATTACK!’ before striking. Beating Kochamara restores freedom to all the little Lungfish, and reveals Linda to be quite an educated and compassionate creature who will then help you out.

As for ‘the best game you’ve never played’ –all of the reviews loved Psychonauts, but for some reason nobody bought it. As one of Tim Schafer’s finest moments (which include Monkey Island, Day of the Tentacle and Grim Fandango) it’s an absolutely essential purchase for any serious gamer, and once you’ve played it you won’t believe how it can have been overlooked

Del Lago (Resident Evil 4)

The Resi series has a history of providing great boss characters, and Resi 4 has some of the best so choosing one isn’t that straightforward. My vote goes to the one that impressed me most on first sighting – Del Lago, or the lake monster. The scene could be straight from any horror film – our hero realises the only way ahead is across a foggy lake and so locates a rickety rowing boat tied to a decrepit jetty. As he sets out across the murky water, a strange ripple passes below the boat suggesting the outline of something large and unpleasant.

Moments later in an entrance reminiscent of Jaws, Del Lago bursts through the surface, gets tangled up within your anchor and leads you into a terrifying drag across the waters coupled with a few opportunities to get into a harpoon fight… or get royally chomped. This boss isn’t the toughest you’ll ever meet, but the environment makes the entire encounter memorable. The dynamics of the water and the atmosphere surrounding the lake are fantastic, and Del Lago itself is genuinely unpleasant and organic without being sci-fi unrealistic. It’s a great example of putting just the right boss in just the right environment, and creating something bigger than both.

Corpser - GoW

This one is probably going to be a contentious choice, but I can live with that. The corpser isn’t really your typical boss as it’s just one of many that you encounter throughout the game (including one just a few minutes after the start) but it is a great mix of spectacular and nasty in one multi-legged package.

The corpse is a huge spider like creature that tunnels underground and is prone to smashing up through the floor and taking any unfortunate individuals back down with it. It bears a resemblance to Half Life’s tentacle monster in that its main attack is using its claws to smash you from above, but when it’s not attacking it curls them up in front of its body to form an almost bulletproof shield. Inbetween dodging the claw attacks you get just a few seconds to sneak a crafty shot at its soft underbelly but be warned that it won’t take your actions kindly.

So what makes the corpser cooler than, say, General Raam from the game’s final level? It’s a matter of scale, and also the sense that it’s hell-bent on squishing you just because you’re there. You can’t reason with it, and if you attempt to get away it’ll finish you before you’ve taken more than a few steps. The final casting vote goes to the method of destroying it – you can’t kill it with normal weapons, only drive it backwards, so with it poised on the edge of a lava pit you realise tactics are needed. I won’t tell you how you do the job in case you haven’t yet played it, but I will say that it forces you to place yourself in the worst possible position and hold your breath. Using brains over brawn almost always makes for a more satisfying conclusion.