Teenage Pregnancy - Neil's Story

Young mums get a lot of support through help groups and advice centres but more often than not dads get left behind. This is set to change around Leicestershire with support groups being set up by Sure Start members. Most of the time young dads feel embarrassed to talk about their feelings and the support groups that are already around have low numbers. One young dad who felt compelled to turn his life around when he got the news that he was to become a dad speaks to the Jitty about his experience.

After the ups and downs of the prospect of becoming a parent and being in a car crash, four years on, Neil is relishing fatherhood.

At the age of 18, Neil met a girl and they were only going out a few weeks before she fell pregnant unexpectedly. His girlfriend, Jess, didn’t know until a few months into the pregnancy and she asked Neil if he would be there for her. Neil said: “I told her yes I would but after a while there was a kind of distance between us and I didn’t really see her that much.”

The idea of becoming a parent at a young age can scare a lot of people and in Neil’s case it was no different. He was determined to be there for his child nonetheless. With things already strained between expectant mother and father, it got worse when Jess gave birth. Neil was driving home whilst Jess was at the hospital when he was involved in a serious car crash. Things went from bad to worse for Neil.

He didn’t see his daughter until she was two months old because his relationship with Jess was on the rocks and he’d moved away from Leicester. Neil said: “I came back to Leicester and it was like we just jumped straight back into a relationship. Since then we’ve settled down. We have our stressful times but who doesn’t especially with such a demanding child who wants constant attention.”

Neil is now 22-years-old and has a beautiful daughter called Sophie. He is supporting his family by working and is constantly putting his family first.
Neil said: “I can’t just go out and buy a new pair of trainers every other week i have to think does Sophie need anything like school uniform or toys.
Being a teenager at the time, Neil was used to going out every weekend but nowadays he rarely goes out. If he goes out he has to deal with the hassle of getting a babysitter and dropping her off and picking her up in the morning

He said: “I wouldn’t change her for anything as a total out come she has put a positive effect on my life - even though it has been hard we are now a family.”

Neil’s tips for prospective young dads:

• Be there for your girlfriend. It is a very stressful time and a child needs two parents.
• It’s hard but use the support groups that are out there. I went to a Sure Start centre nearby where I live and they helped me get my head around the idea and help me sort my life out.