Bereavement - A Personal Story

What is it to lose the person you’ve always loved no matter what, the one who has been there for you through the thick and the one person who has held your hand through the most terrible times?

Well, it’s hard, heartbreaking and worst of all something that can’t be reversed no matter how hard you try…it just won’t. So what do you do…do you isolate yourself from the world, turn to drugs or speak out?

At the age of nine I was faced with losing my father to an unfortunate combination of health complications, it seemed unreal. March 5th 1997 12:40pm my sister and uncle came to school, whilst they waited in the foyer my school secretary came to look for me in the playground, at the time I thought that I had been naughty but what I was to face was something indescribable..my sister said, “Mum’s got a secret to tell you”, a secret, I was rubbish at keeping secrets and what sort of secret would my mum have to tell me. By this time the reality was dawning on me and within minutes I was looking at my mum in a flood of tears, the room was gloomy, awful and somewhat dark. The days that followed were filled with family, friends and loved ones trying to console us but nine years on I still glare into space not being able to believe that all this time I have been without my father…I don’t think I will ever accept it because I know he’s beside me, he always will be and will always need to be.

As time has gone on, being without a father has made me more responsible, mature and thoughtful of others less fortunate than myself. Things do improve because there is always someone willing to listen, talk and help you through the toughest times. There are times when I really wish that I could speak to my father and say “Dad, look I’ve passed!”
I know that time will never come but I can imagine him smiling elated by the thought of his daughter fulfilling her dreams and reaching high…in some odd way him not being here makes me believe that I have more to accomplish, to show him that I can do it, that I can get where I want to in life and that I can make him smile proudly. Anyone can get where they want as long as they persevere.

We all have our own devastating story to share and talking does help break the barriers. Smile, laugh and fulfil your dreams!